I look up into the sky above, a breath of spaciousness comes, a lightness, a childlike smile of innocence & I hear life say to me, “Yes, I see you & I have you. It’s all in the remembering.”
And back to the computer screen to let the Divine express itself. My message is finite, the Divine’s message is infinite & absolutely unconditional. “Speak Divine, Speak.”
These past six weeks have taken me physically to Colquitt & Albany GA & now to Cottonwood, Selma & Tallahassee AL. Energetically & emotionally I’ve been taken everywhere. From my first night in Colquitt, I had dreams that felt as though they were clearing ‘isms’ from the depths of the earth. All ready to come in to the freshness of the present moment & out of the suffocation of the past, bringing with them clarity & freedom not only for me, it felt, but for all of humanity.
Passion, passion, passion, it boils out of the ground around here. Being brought up in a white middle class family in the south of England, can I ever understand what it’s like being brought up in a black family in this part of America? No & I’d never presume to and yet delving more deeply into my self, I know that at the deepest level we all get each other. We all go through challenging ‘stuff’, whether it be abuse, violence, neglect, poverty. We’ve all got it in our blood & in our past. In this present time, it seems to be an integral part of our human experience. We get pulled together during moments of tragedy & moments of defining joy. We touch & are touched, connected & yet often feel alone. It makes no sense & yet is divinely perfect.
As I walked across the bridge for the 50th Anniversary of the Selma to Montgomery march three days ago – http://www.selma50.com – I wept as history seeped up through my feet & into my heart. The bridge seemed to vibrate the shock of that moment from 50yrs ago. Shaking me out of any complacency & into action maybe? The remembrance of a moment of such violence & tragedy & at the same time a moment of the birth of possibility & a surge for equality. My heart burned & I felt sick with the feeling that no matter how many times I said “I’m sorry”, it would never be enough. I searched for forgiveness & understanding in the eyes of others. I searched for some sort of reasoning of how something so awful could have happened. I searched for some sort of peace in my own heart knowing that at some level, we are all responsible for the atrocities that happen in the world & at the same time, for all the love & joy. At the end of the walk, I looked at the scene surrounding me, people laughing, singing, hugging, sharing & I cried again saying to myself, “Why can’t we just love each other all of the time?” I get that we’re having a human experience, that we can’t do this anywhere else, that all of this is to evolve the earth. Yes, yes I get that & in so many ways I know that & yet for so much pain, for so much hurt, for so much destruction to happen & to continue to happen? I guess it’s just hard to swallow sometimes.
Every morning I ask the Divine to crack my heart open with grace, to take my breath away & to blow my mind & everyday she so graciously answers my prayers without fail. With every crack & with every tear I shed, I feel greater compassion & I am so grateful for that. But is this all for that? Is all the abuse, violence etc. to help us cry, to break our hearts, to strip us down so that we feel greater compassion? Yes. But no, it doesn’t always have to be like this. Our hearts express themselves through tears – tears of love, tears of consciousness, tears of knowing, tears of sadness. As my heart cracks to experience itself more fully & I become more conscious, I am gifted with an awareness that I am ‘with’ emotions, feelings & experiences rather than ‘in’ them & that offers me the space to know, that no matter how it looks, the violence & abuse will cease one day & it will be purely through moments of awe & wonder that our hearts will crack & compassion will be known.
Passion is stirring deep inside of me simply by being here, by listening & by witnessing. Witnessing not only those around me but my self within those around me. How did a white English lady get to be in Georgia & Alabama surrounded by such deeply inspiring human beings, doing such deeply inspiring work? Only the Divine knows the answer to that & whatever her reason, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Opportunities only ever come once.
When I think of the day in Selma, humbly standing & walking along side thousands of others, the thing that I remember more than anything is the love & hope that emanated tangibly from eyes all around me. Souls pulling at other souls to join them in the ocean of the infinite, in the ocean of perfection, in the ocean of all that is. Silently asking them to remember the love that they are, that we are. To recognize them as a friend, as family.
The importance of community is popping up its head everywhere I’m taken at the moment & as I bring that into my consciousness, I realize that I’m being given a gift of experiencing it in all of its forms. From the community inside of me, out to my community family, out to friends, to the people in each neighbourhood, town, city, country etc. that I visit. All beautifully interwoven & circling back to me & again deep inside. As I reflect on the day in Selma, I see the ocean of eyes connecting with each other & with each connection, another community – Common-Unity – is born. As I venture in this part of the world for another month, back to Vancouver Island & then to Zambia, I know that as I look into each pair of eyes, I will see community shining right back at me, calling me to weave them together & to share what I’ve seen, nurturing the soul of humanity.
I thank you all (Joy, Juby, Tannur, Audri & Karen) for opening your hearts & homes & for embracing me exactly as I am. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of all of your incredible community projects that further strengthen the global net of connection. And thank you for helping me to say “Y’all” in that wonderful southern drawl.
Joy Jinks – http://www.bccconference-colquittga.com
Juby Phillips – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Green-Life-Garden
Tannur “Shewrightz” Ali – https://www.facebook.com/pages/Institute-for-the-Love-Of-Genius-In-Communities
Audri Scott Williams – http://audriscottwilliams.com
Karen Watson – http://www.karenhunterwatson.com