I’ve been reading a wonderful book by Peggy Rubin ‘To Be & How to Be’ http://peggyrubin.com/book/ which resonates with me because of my theatre background. What I’ve clicked into is that we each play the principle role in our own play & at the same time, supporting roles in each other’s, acting exactly as needed to help remember the love that we are.
So with this in mind, I was re-telling a dream from last night where I was feeling uncomfortable with a man who I know. In the dream I sensed there was something odd with his energy, so I walked past him trying to pretend that he couldn’t see me & went to talk to other friends instead. But when I was playing it back this morning, in the 1st person, present time which is incredibly powerful, I realized that it was my energy feeling odd & nothing to do with him. By turning my back on him, I was giving the ‘odd’ energy life. So as I re-told the dream, I chose to embody the role of principal actor in my play, making it as I wanted it to be. I walked up to him smiling, telling him that I’d got everything sorted & that I’d be staying with my other friends. Perfect. The ‘odd’ energy immediately disappeared because I’d owned it, faced it & walked up to it.
The second dream was to do with my Mum who was born with a hole in her heart. The doctors didn’t think she’d live but thankfully she did. When she was about 10 yrs old, medicine had evolved & they were able to operate. She was the first person in the world to have this operation. It was huge. Again the doctors didn’t know if she’d live & again she did. She was told that her heart wouldn’t be strong enough to have children & yet she proved them wrong & my brother & I were born. Later in her life, they told her that she wouldn’t live beyond 50….she lived until 54. Not old you might think & yet it was 54 yrs longer than was originally said, which I think is amazing. Last night in the dream, I’d been taken to meet some people in their house, when we got there the women were occupied preparing the food, setting the table etc. There were also two men who were dressed like surgeons but wearing suit jackets over the top of their white coats & talking about heart surgery. I was feeling a bit on the outside at first & then my mind said, “Who is playing the principle role in your play?”. “Well, I am”. “So then how do you want your play to be?” Realizing I could chose right there & then to change it, I joined their conversation. I told them about my Mum & they were so excited saying they’d attended lectures with the surgeon who’d done the operation, that she was a case study they’d researched & how pivotal it was in medicine. I felt so proud.
Walking this morning, I played the dream back in my mind, again in the present & as the 1st person. I felt a spaciousness around it & a peace-filled connection with my Mum deeper than ever. I saw so clearly what an incredibly brave & strong woman she was & most importantly how she had played the perfect supporting role in my play. She was exactly as I needed her to be & am so grateful. I also realized that the surgeons were in my dream not only to bring my Mum into a new consciousness but also to heal my heart even more deeply. I thought too about the Doctors wearing their suit jackets over their white coats & suddenly saw them as heroes, ready & willing to jump into action when called. We’re all heroes for each other at all times.
In seeing us as principle actors in our own play & supporting actors in everyone else’s, judgement & opinions of how others are & what they’re going through disappears. It’s allowed me to know on a deep level that we’re each playing these roles to help us see the love that we are. Giving each other the helping hand that we need. A perfect gift for Valentine’s Day.
How are you showing up as principle actor in your play & how does your play look? Happy Valentine’s Day xxxx